{"id":708,"date":"2022-05-29T06:14:32","date_gmt":"2022-05-29T13:14:32","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/goodnightjonboi.com\/?page_id=708"},"modified":"2022-05-29T06:31:59","modified_gmt":"2022-05-29T13:31:59","slug":"a-paper-dog","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/goodnightjonboi.com\/?page_id=708","title":{"rendered":"A Paper Dog"},"content":{"rendered":"
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A paper dog popped out of my printer one day<\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

I think it ran away from my neighbor’s computer<\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

It looked hungry<\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

I don’t know what a paper dog eats<\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

But it didn’t like my eraser shavings<\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

This was good for me<\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

I don’t make too many eraser shavings these days<\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Gently, I placed it in the palm of my hand<\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Like a teacup<\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

And I watched it run circles until it got tired and licked my thumb<\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

But still<\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

It looked hungry<\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

And also, it said, “I am hungry”<\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Oh yeah, the paper dog could talk<\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Curiously enough, typed in its body, in jet black ink, were the words “I am hungry”<\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

And so, that is what it said<\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

In a cute, paper-thin voice<\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

This was less-than-optimal<\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

But I soon came to realize, the dog did not poop<\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

And so, I did not have to pick up after it<\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

This was good for me<\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

The paper dog ran around my desk<\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

And slept in my bed<\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

I had to be careful, so as not to roll over and crush the little thing<\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

But still, it whined, in that paper-thin voice<\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

“I am hungry”<\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

This got to be quite annoying for me<\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

So I got an idea<\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

From my desk, I took out a big, pink eraser<\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Using my thumb and index finger, I pinned down the pup<\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

It struggled underneath me, whimpering in that paper dog sort of way<\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

As I pressed the eraser into it<\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

And erased the words…<\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

“I am hungry”<\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

And so, just like that, the paper dog did not speak<\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Much like a regular, flesh-and-blood dog<\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

This was good for me<\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

But that got me to thinking<\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

If words could be erased, that must mean words could be written<\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

So, from my desk, I took out a pen<\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

My favorite pen<\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

And on its beating-white body<\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

I wrote the word “Penis”<\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

I felt like a tattoo artist as I scratched ink into its fibers<\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Now my paper dog said the word “Penis”<\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

This was funny to me<\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

I laughed<\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

“Penis” “Penis” “Penis”<\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

I laughed and laughed<\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

I laughed until I cried<\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

When I looked down, my paper dog did not look so good<\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

I had cried too much, and so my tears had turned it into a puddle of pulp and ink<\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

What a shame<\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

I really liked that paper dog<\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n
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\"\"<\/figure>\n<\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

A paper dog popped out of my printer one day I think it ran away from my neighbor’s…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"parent":0,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"spay_email":"","footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-708","page","type-page","status-publish","hentry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/goodnightjonboi.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/708","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/goodnightjonboi.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/goodnightjonboi.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/goodnightjonboi.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/goodnightjonboi.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=708"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/goodnightjonboi.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/708\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":719,"href":"https:\/\/goodnightjonboi.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/708\/revisions\/719"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/goodnightjonboi.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=708"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}